Family

Balance

“What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats.”Willy Wonka’s oompa loompas & me this past weekend. 😑

My husband definitely took the chocolate thing seriously this year. He woke me up with a one pound box of Russell Stover chocolates (ya know, the one that’s the size of a smart car) and so naturally I had chocolate for every meal of the day. I mean, I made dinner, but I wasn’t hungry because of SO MUCH chocolate. I haven’t touched the box since. You can definitely have too much of a good thing. So, after two days of straight self sabotage and gorging, I started my yoga routine back up and it’s crazy to me how much different I felt after two days of not doing it. I felt like shit, honestly. Now I am not ever going to be the skinniest or most fit person in the room, and I’m perfectly ok with that. What I’m not ok with is feeling like crap from the minute I wake up till my head finally hits the pillow (at 2 in the morning). I’m also never going to not eat the things I love. Life is far too short to not eat ice cream, chocolate, and bacon. So I will never starve myself either. I think like almost everything in life, it’s important to find a good balance.

Being a mom is the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. It’s also the most crazy thing my body has ever done, and trying to get back to where I was before is a little challenging with a brand new baby and trying to establish a new routine. Now that she’s almost 4 months we are definitely in a better place and I’m starting to get in the swing of things. The first 2 months felt like a just survive kind of deal. Everything was just so crazy, having Ellee home from the hospital was amazing, but absolutely terrifying at the same time. Because of her heart condition, the doctors told us to make sure we calmed her down quickly so it didn’t put too much strain on her (as if we wouldn’t have done that already), so everytime she cried or fussed a little bit I felt so panicky. Luckily, I’ve learned over the last couple months what to do & when to do it, so the panic has died down. But I’ve just really started to look at myself again, and assess what I really need and want.

After I found out I was pregnant I quit smoking, and haven’t started it back up. It was really hard. While she was in the hospital that 2 weeks before her surgery, my husband would go out and smoke a cigarette every hour or so,  and I would just think how badly I wanted to join him just so I could have a reason to go outside and see the light of day. But I stayed in the room, so I wouldn’t be tempted. Quitting smoking is definitely one of my biggest accomplishments, and I’m so happy I did, but it definitely doesn’t help your body at all. All the stress of a baby, and no cigarettes as a stress reliever means something has to take that place for a while. And again..here comes chocolate to make everything better! For now, at least.

I told myself once the baby was home with us I would change it and I kept my word. I was being very strict on myself at first and realized quickly that wasn’t going to work. You can’t be 3 months postpartum and try to cut out all the things you love to eat, exercise, feed the baby, feed yourself (sometimes), pump, do the dishes, wash laundry, repeat and not go crazy. All while not leaving the house all week! Nope, recipe for disaster. So I eat the damn ice cream, but then I try to squeeze in a twenty minute yoga video at the end of the day when everyone is asleep because, ya know, balance.

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